Last week, a client shared something with me that stopped me in my tracks.

"I dropped a plate whilst making dinner," she said. "Just a simple accident. But I couldn't stop crying for two hours. It hit harder than it should have and I felt like the world's biggest failure... over a plate."

If you have ADHD, you probably know exactly what she's describing.

It's called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), and it's one of the most misunderstood yet incredibly common experiences for people with ADHD.

What Actually Is RSD?

RSD isn't about being too sensitive or overreacting. It's an intense emotional and often physical response to perceived or actual rejection, criticism, or failure.

The word "dysphoria" comes from Greek, meaning "unbearable" or "difficult to bear," and that's precisely how it feels. Not uncomfortable. Not unpleasant. Unbearable.

When someone with RSD experiences rejection (real or perceived), the emotional pain doesn't just sting; it really overwhelms. It can manifest as:

Sudden, uncontrollable crying
Intense anger or rage at yourself or others
Physical pain in your chest or stomach
Thoughts that spiral into darkness
Complete emotional shutdown
Wanting to disappear or isolate yourself

And here's the thing: whilst the rest of the world moves on in minutes, you might still be replaying that moment days later.

The Numbers Tell a Powerful Story

Research suggests that up to 99% of people with ADHD experience rejection sensitivity at some point in their lives. Think about that for a moment. Nearly everyone with ADHD.

Even more striking: approximately one-third of adults with ADHD consider RSD to be the single most challenging aspect of living with ADHD, more difficult than focus issues, time blindness, or forgetfulness.

Yet, despite affecting millions, RSD isn't even included in the official diagnostic criteria for ADHD. It remains invisible in medical textbooks whilst being devastatingly real in people's daily lives.

Why Does This Happen?

Researchers believe RSD is connected to differences in how the ADHD brain processes emotions. The frontal lobe, which manages attention, impulse control, and emotional regulation, works differently in people with ADHD.

This means you might:

Miss social cues more easily
Struggle to gauge how others perceive you
Have difficulty processing emotional information at a typical pace
Experience emotions with greater intensity than neurotypical people

But here's what makes it even more complicated: if you've lived with ADHD, you've likely experienced actual rejection more often than your peers. Perhaps you've been criticised for being "too much" or "not enough." Maybe you've been left out because you were late, forgot plans, or seemed disorganised.

Over time, your brain becomes hypervigilant, constantly scanning for signs of rejection even when none exist.

What RSD Actually Looks Like in Real Life

RSD doesn't just show up during big rejections. It appears in the smallest moments:

A text message that goes unanswered for a few hours
A colleague's slightly cooler tone in a meeting
Constructive feedback on a project you worked hard on
Not being invited to something (even when you wouldn't have gone anyway)
Making a small mistake in front of others
Feeling like you've disappointed someone

The response is immediate and often completely disproportionate to the situation. You know your reaction doesn't match reality, but you can't seem to stop it.

You're Not Broken

Here's what I tell every client who comes to me struggling with RSD: This isn't a character flaw. This isn't a weakness. This isn't you being too sensitive.

This is your brain doing what it's wired to do. And understanding that changes everything.

When you can name what's happening and when you can say "this is RSD, this will pass, this isn't the truth about who I am", you start to see yourself more clearly.

If you recognise yourself in these words, please know:

You're not alone. The overwhelming majority of people with ADHD experience this too.

You're not damaged. Your brain processes emotions differently, not wrongly.

This can get better. With the right support, strategies, and sometimes medication, RSD becomes more manageable. It doesn't have to control your life, your relationships, or your sense of self-worth.

The most important step? Stop keeping it a secret. Talk about it with people you trust. Work with professionals who understand ADHD. Be gentle with yourself on the hard days.

Because you deserve to live without constantly bracing for emotional impact. You deserve to experience criticism without it feeling like a wound. You deserve to show up fully in your life without fear of rejection lurking in every interaction.

💭 Does this resonate with you? How does RSD show up in your life?

Let's talk about it in the comments. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.